Olivia was going
to be sent to Iran, when she started speaking Farsi and outwitted the nitwit
kidnappers that were selling her. Turning the Iranian buyer and sellers against
each other, she escaped being handed off to another country for all kinds of
fun torture and mayhem.
Once the kidnappers
ran the auction again, Marie Wallace and “The Russians” (ooooh, scarrrry!)
tied. Both won the auction. So Bad Guy Gus asked Olivia what she thought and
she named Marie Wallace as the one they wanted to go with. They were on to her,
or so it seemed, and decided to give her to the evil Russian dudes, whoever
they are.
When
HuckleberryQuinn and Jake lose the auction, Jake goes to Mama Pope for advice.
She says go see PapaPope, who basically says haha, you lost her! When Jake asks
for his help, imploring that “She’s your daughter”, PapaPope quickly shuts down
Jake saying that he “doesn’t have a daughter. “
Cyrus decides that the risk of getting Olivia out alive
is too great and rather than leave her as an enemy of the state, urges the CIA
to kill her. When you have a frienemy like Cyrus, what else do you need? Abby
is onto Cyrus and takes action!
Mellie goes to
the VP, who threatened to out her, and gave back his threat saying she would out
him and his kinky-rough-slightly-on-the-light-side-of-grey sex. She then goes
to gal-pal Lizzy and gets her to recruit Huck to get to the VP. Saying “He
needs to be shut down, shut up, rendered mute.” When Lizzy protests, Mellie
snaps “I slept with that filthy bastard to save your life” which made me repeat
in my head “Keep the change, you filthy animal” a la Home Alone! AHHHH!
Pay the piper, even the scales,
show some solidarity Sister! Dizzy gets Huck to help with the VP.
Since Quinn confessed her puppy love to Huck, and made him promise the whole “no
more blood” thing, he strips the VP, saran wraps him, then poisons him and
tells Lizzy to call 911. The VP had a stroke, cannot talk, and while he is lying in a hospital bed, Mellie whispers in his ear "you brought this on yourself."
Just when you
thought that OP was off to drink some vodka and make snow angels in Russia, someone steps
in to rescue her. But wait! There's the entire team watching the Liv handoff in a control room. Cyrus said to neutralize the asset. The CIA Woman says "Fire!" Cyrus says "Don’t Fire!" Cyrus
recognizes the person Olivia is getting handed off to (really? via satellite?) – and so does Olivia! It’s
old-school Gladiator Stephen, who was really leading the Russian mobsters. She
asks him if the guys standing around holding guns are his, he says yes, she
takes a gun from him and shoots Bad Guy Gus in the leg, then as he goes down,
kicks the ever-loving crap out of him. Stephen bought Olivia, ships her back to
the US.
How in the heck
did this guy get involved as “The Russians” and get Olivia?….Numero Uno Gal Pal
Abby. She contacted OG OPI Stephen and got him involved. Abby states “Once a
Gladiator, always a Gladiator.” That my friends is the quote of the week.
Stephen, Stephen, please come back to OPI!! When Cyrus tells Abby “Well done, Red” she
tells him “and he doesn’t know you almost killed her.” Seems like neither one
is talking.
Once Liv gets
back home, Fitz visits and she lays into him! What the hell dude, you don’t go
to war for me! Giving in defeated her entire purpose – making him President. He says “I had to save you” and she screams no dude, “You didn’t
save me. I’m on my own!” Throws the ring at his head!
Dude, he started a war for her, and she threw a ring in his face. I dunno, but to me, that should at least get a time out, not an all out evil ring throwing rant.
RelationshipFail? Yes. So, does she go
to Jake? Who she very cordially sent home (along with HuckleberryQuinn) stating
she wanted time alone, or does she end up with Fitz? Who she obviously has some
unresolved issues with. Does Stephen come in on a horse wearing a white hat and
sweep her off her feet? Can anyone sweep Olivia? I’m not sure she’s a sweeping
kind of girl. Maybe a drag-out-catfight. Ninja kicks. I don't know.
Best parts of
last-nights show:
Cyrus losing his
shit at Fitz….even though it was only a daydream
Mellie showdown
with the VP. Can you say woman scorned? Anyone? Anyone?
Stephen: "You saved me. I didn't think I'd get the chance to return the favor"
Quinn telling
Huck she’s his puppy. Awww. HuckleberryQuinn. He decides not to kill for her.
Makes me want to draw hearts over their names claiming they’re MFEO (made for each
other). You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. He's her lobster. Her person. Her evil sadistic 'no more blood' creepy dude. Such love. *sigh*
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