Scandal Season 5, Ep 11: The Candidate. AKA: Hand Me Your Hooch!

So, this week was all about girl bonding? Kinda strange. Bonding between the ex-wife and the mistress. Sounds a bit like my dad’s funeral with the ex-wife, current wife, and mistress all in attendance. But I digress. 

Mellie and Olivia had a bit of a girl-pow-wow. It started with the book talk, and Olivia telling MellieMel to cut chapter 2. Chapter 2 is about how Fitz got shot, and Mellie wants to put out the emotion and connection to the American people. Olivia one-ups her and tells her to write about why she stayed with him after learning about his mistress. 

Mel is a bit freaked out. Says Olivia can compartmentalize the shit out of anything. Olivia fires back “You asked for Olivia Pope, you got Olivia Pope.” Eeep! Or as I like to say…Don’t ask a question if you don’t want to hear the answer. 

This leads to a bit of a Pee-Wee Herman moment:

“You don’t know why you stayed”
“Do you know why you left?”
“Do you know?”
“You don’t know either?”
“I know you are but what am I?”

More bantering, and Olivia continues to push the issue, Mellie tells Liv that she was just a blip on the radar. She never had what Fitz and Mellie had: 23 years, children, a real relationship. She calls Liv his plaything. She gets pissed and leaves, going to a bar where she runs into Cyrus. She tells him that they’ll never really be rid of the two of them (Ovitz). He tries to butter her up as a way to run her campaign, and she shuts him down. She says she already has someone in mind. She goes back to Liv’s place – with her hooch in her hand.

 She shares her hooch and her reasons for staying: it worked for her. With Fitz focused on Olivia, Mellie had room to breathe and think on her own, outside of being the First Lady. Olivia admits to being wrong in her affair with Fitz and becoming the First Mistress. Mellie tells her she was glad that she was the mistress and she was probably a good one. A great one. Liv responds by telling her “I am an overachiever” which sends the two, now drunk on moonshine, laughing at each other. 

That’s Chapter 2: Why she stayed is that she was scared. Afraid to stand on her own, and yet, she did causing a filibuster on the senate floor standing up for women’s reproductive rights. Liv tells her she had the power the whole time. 

The two of them crank out the chapter with the focus on Mellie's self discovery, and Liv realizes that the book won’t get published in time for the election, so they go online and post chapters. 

So while the gals are getting cozy over their hooch, a new sexy reporter is interviewing Fitzgerald for an article on how he views his presidency. Cyrus goes over the rules, and Sexy Reporter Lilian is all about “Eff The Rules!” because before she can ask any questions, she turns into a bumbling school girl with a crush, confessing to Fitz that she’s attracted to him.  After doing his slow blink, 'OMG I’m in shock face', he asks her to dinner. DINNER! Really?  They eat. They suck face in the back of the presidential limo. They get semi-busy in Fitz's bedroom and Abby walks in on them!! Fitz go ballastic! Tells Abbs that she has no right to barge in on him, and sends her on her way.

In other Scandal stories, VP Susan is confronted by Lizzy who wants her to run for President. Susan isn’t stupid and says no, she’s not interested. She also knows that she’s the sacrificial lamb to Saint Mellie. Lizzy isn’t giving up – she gets David to try to convince her saying “the Muppet is in love with you!” She also threatens to withhold his sexy times until he does. 

David asks her out, and after going through all the typical DC date spots, asks her about French fries. He takes her to the infamous Gettysburger! A burger joint! Susan is eating it up…David asks her about the run for president and she tells him she’s not going to put herself through that, feeling like she’s a bug that Mellie can squash. Davis tells her she’s not a bug, she’s a warrior and thinks she could really win. He seals the date/deal with a kiss.

David goes to tell Lizzy that he’s done messing with Susan, and Lizzy tells him it’s too late. Susan has filed her paperwork for the campaign. She then goes out to test the waters with the American people with the media. 

Cyrus. Oh Cyrus. He lies to the president stating that he has to attend his cousin’s funeral. His “cousin” is a governor in Pennsylvania and just might be his new ticket back into the White House. 

That's all for this week. So - is David really into Susan? What will that be - a Dusan? a Savid? Ugh. that does not work at all! What about Cyrus? He's trying to find another candidate to latch on to. And Mellie and Liv? Friends? Stranger things have happened.