More confessions of a bad-Catholic girl during lent...

Last year, I was in a pickle. I had no idea what to give up as a measure of sacrifice for Lent and had to phone a friend for a lifeline. For most, the thought of Lent brings up giving up something that you’ll actually miss. It’s supposed to show discipline, dedication. As a child, many of us gave up candy only to return to the gluttony of sweetness with a basket full of sugary crap on Easter. More recently as an adult, I’ve given up habits. Coffee. Laziness. Cursing. Yah, that last one didn’t go very well. Neither did giving up coffee come to think of it. Cranky much? Yes, I was. While some years worked better than others, I often failed. 

Sorry.

This year, I had to think again: what could I sacrifice? What would I do that would not only improve my well being, but really be something that would require a significant change in behavior on my part. I came to a simple conclusion:

I would give up saying “I’m sorry.”

What the WHAT? 

Why would you stop apologizing? Sounds selfish, right? Making this all about me? You’re right.

 I am making this about me. About being a better me. I need to remember that I can’t please everyone, and when other people are not satisfied with something, I shouldn’t have to apologize for it. I shouldn’t be beating myself up feeling guilt and creating negative feelings about myself over and over and over again when I don’t need to do so.

If I did my best, which by the way – will vary and have different levels and definitions on any given day (and sometimes throughout the day), then why should I apologize for something when I didn’t do anything wrong? If I didn’t get something done fast enough because I wanted to do it right, didn’t I still complete it? If I worked hard on a project and it needed revisions, or it didn’t work out, I still did my best work possible. If I didn’t clean the house, it’s still a home, right?  Work. Home. Husband. Mother. Friends. Strangers.

 I’ve become conditioned to serving others. Jump when they ask. When I don’t jump high enough, or move fast enough for their needs, I apologize for it. Why do I do this? I can’t find a good answer. So, I’m done. Not doing it anymore.

Don't get me wrong. If I do something that really is my own f*ck-up, I'll admit it. I'll apologize. But saying "Sorry" just because I failed to meet your expectations? Nope. Not gonna happen. 

According to the Catholic Church, the reason to “give something up” is to start a conversion. A change. This is a conversion. While the goal is to abstain from sin, I have to find that I have to stop sinning against myself. I have enough self-criticism and self-guilt for a whole host of things, including not “being enough,” to last a lifetime.

For me, there’s only one way to stop adding to those negative feelings. I’m going to start by stopping the apologies. Knowing that I did my best. Feeling better about myself. Loving myself more. In the end, when that happens, and I can fully love myself, then unconditional love of others can follow. Isn’t that what being a good Catholic is all about anyway? 

So, for those that don’t agree with my Lenten sacrifice? 

 #SorryNotSorry

Katherine in Gold by J.B. Hartnett Book Tour!

Katherine in Gold is the second installment of the Beach Brides series. In this unique romance, we follow the story of Katherine and Holst. A tale of shaking off the past, embracing the future, and finding true love. **Can be read as a stand-alone**

Now Available!

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1UwXXj3

Amazon UK:http://amzn.to/1HLppo1

Blurb

*Warning: this is a love story with sexual situations and copious swearing. It also deals with an inappropriate relationship between an underage girl and a much older man.

When Katherine Symes experiences heartbreak at the age of twenty, she picks herself up, dusts herself off, and declares no man will ever break her again. The independent, potty-mouthed Katherine makes no apologies for how she lives her life. Marriage, babies, and husbands are ideas she’s never even entertained. There is only one thing she’s never had the guts to do.

Open her own cafe.

The day of her best friend’s engagement, a stranger bulldozes his way into her life. Handsome, tall, and annoying as hell, he pushes all her buttons. A mutual acquaintance introduces them, and the stranger, Holst Rutherford, wastes no time in presenting Katherine with half ownership in a coffee shop he wants to open in Laguna Beach; he just doesn’t want to do it alone.

Can she put up with Holst to achieve her lifelong dream?

Holst moved to the coastal town of Laguna Beach with clear intentions: a fresh start, concentrate on his new business, and enjoy the beach at his doorstep. After ending a toxic relationship, he never considered entering a new one. But there is something about the ever-combative Katherine which makes him realize she could be much more than a business partner. She just might be the one.

However, she is going to need a little convincing

Exerpt

He looked around my bedroom for some weird reason, then said, “Baby?” He dipped his head so he was right against my ear. “You aren’t weak, and I’m sure you can take care of yourself, but I think it’s time you let a man help who will make sure, when all is said and done, you have someone to walk out of battle with at your side.”

Fuck, I was gonna fall in love with him, that dirty, sneaky, big-dicked, perfect-mouthed, motherfucker.

Apparently, he got all that from the look on my face and smiled. “At least you didn’t say what you were thinking out loud.”

My Review: 

For my friends:

Bitch, just go read this book before I have to hurt you. Seriously Dude, just do it. 

For everyone else: 

Katherine in Gold is the second in the Beachy Brides series – that focuses on a group of friends living in the laid-back beach town of Laguna, California. Katherine is a tough-talking, independent woman who isn’t afraid to live her life by her own terms. She’s written off marriage, kids, the whole shebang. There’s only one thing she wants more than anything…Katherine has had a long time dream of opening her own cafe. 

She tells this to her friend Tori (from Book 1), who tells another friend, who tells another friend…and in walks Holst. The man she both wants to kill because he annoys the crap out of her, and the man that can make her dream a reality. Holst is described as “Clint Eastwood. He’s all calm and cool. Eastwood-Zen, that what he is…and he’s hot.” He also reminds her of a man from her past – one that took her heart and never really gave it back. 

Now here’s where I HAVE to give the warning: the man from per past is a 100% dick. There isn’t anything graphic, but her past, one that she must confront so she can move forward, deals with a much older man getting involved with, and taking advantage of, a young teenage girl. For years. Like I said: Dick. 

Anyhoo – back to the good parts. Katherine and Holst decide to go for it – start their business. It doesn’t take long for that business partnership to move into something much more. Holst doesn’t put up with her crap. She snarky, has attitude, is cranky, and talks trash to him…and that’s what he loves about her. 

After the two see each other naked by mistake (his naked is physical, hers – emotional), the two find they are under each others skin and don’t want out. But…how make it work? That’s where the story gets fun.  

“There was much more to Katherine, and each and every time I was in her presence, I felt a pull to learn exactly what it was.”

While it’s not necessary to read the first book to understand this one, it does provide background on all the friends. Tori and Cam, Dee and Frodo, Ruby, Drew, and others all make appearances (some more than others). 

Hartnett wins again with this one – it’s sweet, frustrating, just a tad bit angsty, funny, hot, and swoon-worthy. My favorite characters are those that I can either see bits of myself (hello, I am Katherine), or my gal-pals (yes, they’re all there as well), and makes me want to hang out with these fictional people. She does a perfect job of capturing the Laguna lifestyle, the language of friends in Southern California (throwing insults at your besties!), and pop-culture references for those that grew up in the 80’s. Living in SoCal, I can tell you…Dude is a noun, pronoun, verb, adverb, adjective, expletive, and can be used singularly or as a phrase. Dude. I loved this book (and frankly all her others as well) and can’t wait for the next one. 

Have you met Cameron & Victoria from Bride in Bloom (Book One) yet? 

One-click your copy at the following retailers:

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1EN71Zz

Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/1aYo2Fs

iBooks: http://apple.co/1LGquzR

About the Author

Stalk Her: Facebook | Twitter | Website | Goodreads

Julie is a Southern California native, a fan of a really good story (preferably romance with a happily ever after), really good pie (preferably pumpkin) and copious amounts of coffee (preferably Folgers). She has always enjoyed writing and at one time thought she could be a singer songwriter...the 'writer' part is the one that stuck. Julie is obsessed with pi...the equation(and the food). She's allergic to cats and cantaloupe and hates mushrooms...so if you ever want to give her a gift, those are out for sure. She currently lives with her own romance hero husband and two boys in Melbourne, Australia.

My man can do "The Walk"

It was a long day at work. Drama, issues, problem solving, technical issues that are unresolved, decisions that make me scratch my head and sigh. I sent The Man a text and asked what he wanted for dinner because I was going to just pick something up on the way home. I walk in, give him the food, and change into my comfy clothes so that I can park myself on the couch and eat. 

 The Man does what he normally does…searches the guide to find a movie –he puts on the last five minutes of Friday, the 13^th, then when I groan about it, he says it’s over and he’s waiting for the next movie. What’s the next movie? None other than Saturday Night Fever. The movie is just about to start, he gets quiet, looks over at me and says: 

“I do the walk”

Me: “You do the walk?”

The Man “Yes, I do the walk.”

Me: “What walk?”

The Man: raises chin at television.
(aka – the universal sign for “that” or “there” or “over there”).

Me: “You mean the Saturday Night Fever, John Travolta walk?”

The Man: nods head. “Yes. The walk”

Me “Where do you do the walk?”

The Man: “At work. When the song comes on, I do the walk.”

Me: “And how often does that happen?”

The Man: “We listen to K-RTH [the oldies station] so it comes on often”

Me: “So you’re telling me that the Saturday Night Fever song comes on at work, quite frequently, and each time you do the walk?”

The Man: Nods head.

Me:  “Show me. We have enough space – do it. Do the walk to the door and back”

The Man: turns head toward me, nods, gets up, walks away, and waits. He waits in the hallway until the song is going, and walks in step with John Travolta. Same gait, same head bob, same swagger. 

I couldn’t help it…I laughed! It. Was. Perfect! The little bounce, the swinging of the arms, the whole shebang! 

Of course, he then sits and watches the movie and recites the lines. “Would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it. He hits my hair.”

He talks back to the movie. Makes sounds agreeing with what they’re doing “mmmhmmmm”

When they’re arguing, he says “bah.” As if he’s surprised and hasn’t seen this before. 

He laughs when Tony Manero yells at his mother that she has three shit children then cries and apologizes to her. 

He watches and nods, and when he thinks I’m not watching, he does a little bit of the dance moves in his chair. Just a little. 

After this, I can’t remember what happened today that made me freak, stress, groan, and grumble.

 All I know is my Man can do “the walk.”