So that just
happened.
Just when you
thought that Game of Thrones couldn’t get any more gruesome, they did.
First, Arya
continues to wash dead people. She keep asking questions – where are they
taken? They go through a mysterious door that closes immediate after they take
out the corpse, but then what? She puts her foot down and states she’s not
giving anymore sponge baths to dead people until she gets answers. Hoo-boy. She
got answers all right. First, she plays some slapstick version of Two Truths
and a Lie, called Game of Faces. Except in this game when you lie, you get smacked
with a stick.
First, with her roommate. Then, Jaqen H’ghar asks her questions
and smacks her when he catches her lying: She hates Hound. Lie. Smack. She
wants to be No One. Lie. Smack. Later, a man brings his sick daughter to the
temple telling Arya “She suffers every day of her life.” Arya dons a straight face and lies to the
girl, telling her she was very sick, once, and was dying. Since her father also
loved her, so he brought her to the House to be healed by the waters from the
fountain. She clearly lies her butt off when she tells the girl that drinking
the water from heal her. Of course, it doesn’t, but she was able to lie and get
away with it.
This seemed to earn her some privileges and she is shown what’s
behind door number 1. Jagen takes Arya to the Hall of Faces. Otherwise known as
a creepy room with large columns of faces that the Faceless Man gets to use.
Did you get that? Bizarre, I know. Any-hoots, my first question was “um, how do
they get to the ones on top? Do they have to step on other faces to get to the
top?”
Next, Tyrion tells
Jorah of his father’s death by the Nights’ Watchmen. Tyrion and Jorah are then captured
and the men want to cut off Tyrion’s *ahem*
appendage, because they think that dwarf
cock has magical powers. *insert dirty comment here: doesn’t all cock have
magical powers?* Tyrion convinces them to not give him a detachable penis and
they agree – but only until they can find a cock merchant. They have cock
merchants? What are those? IDK. it’s all so bizarre! When the fighting pits are
mentioned, Tyrion also convinces them that Jorah is a prize fighter, and they
should take him there. Of course, that just helps get them one step closer to
the Dragon mother Daenerys.
Littlefinger has
given Sansa to the Boltons. Littlefinger
then returns to King’s Landing to tell Cersei that Sansa is alive and engaged
to Ramsay. He also he promises her that the Knights of the Vale will fight for
the Lannisters to take Winterfell. Why? So that he can be named Warden of the
North. Cersei states she’ll believe him when he provides Sansa’s head on a
spike.
Cersei also gets into it with her new daughter-in-law
Margaery, who quickly calls in Gramma Lady Olenna as reinforcement. Lady and
Cersei get into a verbal spar, and an inquest is held. Loras denies having
relations with men, Margaery denies any knowledge of this until his boy toy is
brought forward and confirms not only the relationship, but Margaery’s private
peep show staring the two of them. Calling him a liar, he mentions Loras’
birthmark on his thigh. Whoopsie! Cersie is smug when she sees that both Loras
and Margaery are carted off to jail.
Cersei’s daughter Myrcella
is in the garden with her betrothed Prince Martell when Jamie and Bronn bust in
to save her. She doesn’t want to go with uncle/daddy Jamie. The Sand Snakes, a
trio of women warriors that are Prince Oberyon’s daughters, come in ready to
off Myrcella and Jamie and Bronn are in their way. They all end up duking it
out until the guard Hota comes in and breaks it up, arresting Jamie and Bronn.
Sansa is completing
her bathing ritual before her wedding to twisted Ramsay. Her attendant,
Myranda, tells tales of Ramsay’s abuse and his evil twisted ways. Sansa snaps
back “How long have you loved him?” and lifts her chin “I’m Sansa Stark of
Winterfell (biatch). This is my home. You can’t frighten me.” Um, maybe you should have paid a bit more attention
to Myranda.
Theon is Sansa’s
escort and he hands her off to be married to Ramsay. They retreat to the
bedroom – and I mean THEY. All three of them: Ramsay, Sansa and Theon. Ramsay
asks if she’s a virgin telling her not to lie to her new husband. He then tells
her to remove her clothes, and orders Theon to stay put. And watch. “You’ve known
Sansa since she was a girl. Now watch her become a woman.”
The scene ends
with a close up of her face down on the bed, crying. Theon standing in the
corner, crying. Sansa is bent over and Theon is broken again. SO disturbing, yet it's not. Ramsay is more evil than Jofrey. Theon is too beaten down to stop it. Sansa knows fighting will make it worse.
What did this scene accomplish? It’s not on the
books. It’s not even Sansa that marries Ramsay – it’s a girl pretending to be
Arya.Where is GoT going with this? What are they setting up? We'll just have to wait and see....
