Who is the
strange yoga guru dude? There is no one
else. Nobody to your left, and nobody to your right. But right in front of you,
is some strange shit going on! Namaste muther effers. Freaky freaky Christian
bible bitch is back!! Sara Newlan. Later we find that she is riding the Guru, and when they’re
done, he tells her to go make him a sandwich. Not really, but go get a bottle
of wine. While she’s in the wine cellar, the head of the Yakanomo Corp (those
dudes that created True Blood) are looking for Sara. Guru says he doesn’t know
where she is, and bye bye Guru. Sara is seen crouching in the cellar as
Gurublood seeps under the door.
Pam talks to
Eric and asks how long he’s been sick. He’s recognized signs since last month
in St. Petersburg. She tells him of Tara’s true death. He asks:
“Did you play the bucket game? I like the
bucket game.”
She yells at
him: “You are Eric Fucking Northman! You
don’t give up. You fight.”
We get treated
to a flashback of a younger (well, in Vampire time younger) Eric in France doin’ the daughter of the local vineyard
owner. Ah Sylvie. He's interrupted by Nan from The Authority. When it comes down to it, he’s told by Nan/The Authority he “Cannot
publicly be biting, sucking, and fucking open in public.” The Authority has to
get him in line with this Yakanomo Corp creation of True Blood as it’s big
business, big money y’all.
Later, Eric
is in the vineyard fucking Sylvie again, when Pam interrupts him. Pam is being
held by the head honcho at the YakaCorp who tells Eric he’s got a choice to
make. One of them has to die – Sylvie or Pam. You pick. He says he wants them
to kill him, and he’s told the Authority wants him alive. He says “Pam. Pam
lives” and Sylvie goes down with a sword to her middle. Eric is then captured
as well. At least he has his rocking turquoise pants from the 80s on. Oh wait,
he has pants on. Bummer.
Back to the
present: He says he didn’t contract the virus on purpose, but went with a deal
with the devil attitude. Pam pleads to stay for him to fight. There’s one thing
that gets him moving – Pam tells him Sara Newlan is still alive thanks to Jason
Stackhouse.
"Well lets go find her, shall we?"
Adilyn and Wade
are in the jail cell, about to smooch again. Or for the first time since Wade
was clean slated by a vamp. Jessica and Andy come in to find them and tell them
“they” are after anyone and anything that is different from them.
Sam is chatting
to the Rev about what happened in St. Alice. People disappearing in the middle
of pizza. He’s giving up wondering what life is all about. He’s done. Rev tells
him he has to have faith. Tells him the family had Jesus in every single
bedroom – what good did it do them?
Willa comes to
get them and Mama Mae is running in after her, screaming that she needs to understand
and know where Tara is at. Rev once again talks her down from her HVamp high,
then takes her home. Willa asks if he knew if Mae did hurt herself on purpose,
and he suspects she did. Willa feeds from him while he talks about his wife and
how she strayed. He says he lost faith in everything. He would pretend he wasn’t
home when people came to look for him. He put on his collar and drove – ending up
in Bon Temps. At the bottom of the church steps, he found a woman clutching a
bottle of Captain Morgan and he recalls his first encounter with Lettie Mae.
Says she saved him as much as she saved her. Tells Willa she’s an addict, and
Willa is just a bottle of Cap to MamaMae. She has to go.
Sam goes out
with his vamp aide and comes face to face with the Vince gang. Vince howls at
him, saying he’s “Taking his town back”. You
tricked the people thinking they were voting for a human being, and they were
voting for the devil. Vince tells everyone he’s the major and wants everyone to
go home. They get trigger happy and kill his vamp, and Sam turns into a hawk
and flew away.
Jason wants a
baby with his woman Violet. Invoking Andy’s line “A man ain’t nothing without a
family.” She tells him “What one incident and you’re turning into a girl?” She
tells him he was a man when he was in the cell with her, a man with dignity and
an iron clad cock. Not a modern man with feelings.”
Interrupted by
Andy and Jessica, Violet and Jessica standoff, but call a truce until they find
Sookie. Adilyn tells him that the Vince
mob is likely after Sookie. They go off looking for her and come across Sam’s
abandoned truck. They stop and the Vince mob comes out.
Maxine is pissed
at Jessica, telling her “You made Hoyt
leave me. You tore out his heart like he didn’t even matter.”
She takes a shot at Jessica and hits her in
the shoulder, and Violet goes vamp after Maxine and rips out her heart. Jessica
is shot and not healing. Violet takes down one of the mob and brings him back
to Sam.
Lafayette is
getting down with his bad self when James comes over looking for more weed. He
want’s off some Jessica shit.
“We lived
together, Sleep next together, occasionally fuck, but she doesn’t know I’m
there.”
Lafayete asks
him what the last drug he remembers taking, and he tells him and that the
experience was like being in the ocean. Layfayette passes out and James freaks –
thinking that he OD-ed on him, he shakes him hard to wake him up. “What is your malfunction?” Faye snaps.
I love him! He then asks “Is you groovin’
on me?”
James gives an
uncomfortable smirk, Faye apologizes and says he must have misread him. James
says no you didn’t misread anything, but I’m with Jessica. Faye goes through
some this, that, and whatever to get them altered and once he’s lit, he can
feed James so he can get high as well. They’re both trippin, listening to some
old school funk. They’re floating.
At Fangtasia,
the HVamps are hurting for food. Below, the women are doing a spirit chant.
Arlene is asked to go hunting for more food. They come upon a couple in the
woods and take them back.
Bill says he has
to live with the memories of what he did to Sookie forever. But he does have a
clean slate. She will have to take his blood or he won’t’ be able to help her.
He bit his wrist, and Sookie starts sucking. He gets all excited and she
mumbles “I have a boyfriend” LOL!
Alcide finds Sookie
is gone. Goes running off to find her without his shirt off. Yum. Get a good
look, as it won’t last long. He goes to Bill house and kicks in the door,
running in looking for Sookie. He comes out in wolf form, still on the hunt. He
meets up with Sam in the woods and they both take human form and chat, then morph
into pups and run off again.
Sookie is in the
forest, and Bill is in a tree looking at her. Their plan is to bait Vampires. She tells him
when he first took her to Fangtasia, that’s what he called her – Vampire Bait.
That’s what she’s doing – fulfilling her purpose.
They start talking
about Alcide and Bill asks “Do you love him?”
“That would be
none of your business William Thompson”
Sounds like
Alcide wants kids, and Sookie doesn’t. She’s never admitted it until now but
she’s afraid that she doesn’t love him as much as he loves her. Alcide is
descent and handsome (yah) and grounded. He’s good (mmmhmmm). But she can hear
it in his voice and his thoughts – he means it more than she does and she can’t
take it for much longer.
Bill says "Love
isn’t always equal. Maybe you’ll grow to love him more”.
Sookie is sick
of waiting and cuts herself, yelling out “Hello?! I taste like sunshine and
flowers and I’m right fucking here!” The vamps come out after Sookie, they grab
her and Bill, at the same time that Alcide and Sam in pup form jump on the Vamps.
Jason/Andy/Jessica/Violet are also there and they immediately shoot the other
HVamps splashing blood all over Sook. Violet takes her to the river to wash her
off. Once they take out the HVamps, and Alcide returns to his human form and
goes off on Bill asking him what the hell was he thinking. Then….Shots fired.
Alcide is SHOT!!
WHAT THE FUCK!!!
He’s down. He’s
gone. Violet and Jessica offer to turn him. Sookie says no, I’ve been down that
road before. She already turned Tara against her will to save her, and she wasn’t
going to do it to Alcide.
So, he’s dead.
He’s lying there
is all his naked glory. Gone. Excuse me while I take a moment.
In an interview
with HBO (http://tinyurl.com/nklxdod), Joe Manganiello says he knew he was a gonner
once he was hooked up with Sookie. The good guys always die first. In his
interview, he’s asked:
Q: Is there anything that you won’t
miss?
JM: "Shooting in Malibu in December is really
difficult. People don’t understand how cold it gets up there. There were two
nights in a row where the temperature was below 20 degrees. And we’re barefoot.
And naked. And you have to lay on the ground sometimes. It’s not easy to
pretend to be sexy when your bones are rattling."
Gotta tell ya
Joe – no pretending needed. Your cold bones are hot!
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