Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Game of Thrones, Season 5, Ep6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. AKA: Bent over and broken

So that just happened. 

Just when you thought that Game of Thrones couldn’t get any more gruesome, they did.
First, Arya continues to wash dead people. She keep asking questions – where are they taken? They go through a mysterious door that closes immediate after they take out the corpse, but then what? She puts her foot down and states she’s not giving anymore sponge baths to dead people until she gets answers. Hoo-boy. She got answers all right. First, she plays some slapstick version of Two Truths and a Lie, called Game of Faces. Except in this game when you lie, you get smacked with a stick. 

First, with her roommate. Then, Jaqen H’ghar asks her questions and smacks her when he catches her lying: She hates Hound. Lie. Smack. She wants to be No One. Lie. Smack. Later, a man brings his sick daughter to the temple telling Arya “She suffers every day of her life.”  Arya dons a straight face and lies to the girl, telling her she was very sick, once, and was dying. Since her father also loved her, so he brought her to the House to be healed by the waters from the fountain. She clearly lies her butt off when she tells the girl that drinking the water from heal her. Of course, it doesn’t, but she was able to lie and get away with it. 

This seemed to earn her some privileges and she is shown what’s behind door number 1. Jagen takes Arya to the Hall of Faces. Otherwise known as a creepy room with large columns of faces that the Faceless Man gets to use. Did you get that? Bizarre, I know. Any-hoots, my first question was “um, how do they get to the ones on top? Do they have to step on other faces to get to the top?” 

Next, Tyrion tells Jorah of his father’s death by the Nights’ Watchmen. Tyrion and Jorah are then captured and the men want to cut off Tyrion’s  *ahem* appendage,  because they think that dwarf cock has magical powers. *insert dirty comment here: doesn’t all cock have magical powers?* Tyrion convinces them to not give him a detachable penis and they agree – but only until they can find a cock merchant. They have cock merchants? What are those? IDK. it’s all so bizarre! When the fighting pits are mentioned, Tyrion also convinces them that Jorah is a prize fighter, and they should take him there. Of course, that just helps get them one step closer to the Dragon mother Daenerys. 

Littlefinger has given Sansa to the Boltons.  Littlefinger then returns to King’s Landing to tell Cersei that Sansa is alive and engaged to Ramsay. He also he promises her that the Knights of the Vale will fight for the Lannisters to take Winterfell. Why? So that he can be named Warden of the North. Cersei states she’ll believe him when he provides Sansa’s head on a spike. 

 Cersei also gets into it with her new daughter-in-law Margaery, who quickly calls in Gramma Lady Olenna as reinforcement. Lady and Cersei get into a verbal spar, and an inquest is held. Loras denies having relations with men, Margaery denies any knowledge of this until his boy toy is brought forward and confirms not only the relationship, but Margaery’s private peep show staring the two of them. Calling him a liar, he mentions Loras’ birthmark on his thigh. Whoopsie! Cersie is smug when she sees that both Loras and Margaery are carted off to jail. 

Cersei’s daughter Myrcella is in the garden with her betrothed Prince Martell when Jamie and Bronn bust in to save her. She doesn’t want to go with uncle/daddy Jamie. The Sand Snakes, a trio of women warriors that are Prince Oberyon’s daughters, come in ready to off Myrcella and Jamie and Bronn are in their way. They all end up duking it out until the guard Hota comes in and breaks it up, arresting Jamie and Bronn. 

Sansa is completing her bathing ritual before her wedding to twisted Ramsay. Her attendant, Myranda, tells tales of Ramsay’s abuse and his evil twisted ways. Sansa snaps back “How long have you loved him?” and lifts her chin “I’m Sansa Stark of Winterfell (biatch). This is my home. You can’t frighten me.”  Um, maybe you should have paid a bit more attention to Myranda. 

Theon is Sansa’s escort and he hands her off to be married to Ramsay. They retreat to the bedroom – and I mean THEY. All three of them: Ramsay, Sansa and Theon. Ramsay asks if she’s a virgin telling her not to lie to her new husband. He then tells her to remove her clothes, and orders Theon to stay put. And watch. “You’ve known Sansa since she was a girl. Now watch her become a woman.”

The scene ends with a close up of her face down on the bed, crying. Theon standing in the corner, crying. Sansa is bent over and Theon is broken again. SO disturbing, yet it's not. Ramsay is more evil than Jofrey. Theon is too beaten down to stop it. Sansa knows fighting will make it worse. 

What did this scene accomplish? It’s not on the books. It’s not even Sansa that marries Ramsay – it’s a girl pretending to be Arya.Where is GoT going with this? What are they setting up? We'll just have to wait and see....

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Scandal Season 4, Ep 22: You Can't Take Command. AKA: OUT! Get OUT!

So – season finale. Big stuff, right? Here’s what happened:

Last week Mellie met a donor. He was introduced as some rich southern dude and needed her help. He hands her a file that is “important” to him – only, it’s loaded with pictures of her and the cheezy VP Andrew. He threatens to out her, and her husband over Remington and then demands she asks what he wants. Oh, just a list. A list of names. 

Then, it’s on to B613 trial time. The jurors are all there, they listen to Jake testify. Then, emergency call. All the jurors are on the bus in the parking garage. Dead. David Rosen isn’t willing to die to bring down Command. 

Mellie realizes what the list was, and what happened to all the jurors and runs to Cyrus. Tells him what happened, that she was protecting herself and the President, mentions Remington and Cyrus goes into action. “I’ll take care of it. Don’t tell Fitz.” Out he runs.

Olivia has a strange visit with Mama Pope who calls her Boo and reminds her that she’s living in a fantasy world that does not revolve around her. Ouch. Reminds her that Papa has covered his tracks so well that no one is looking for him, as he doesn’t really exist. Liv then goes to the head of the CIA (remember her?) with Jake in tow and rants about B613. Ms. CIA-woman has both Olivia and Jake arrested. She then runs into Cyrus who basically tells her she can’t do a darn thing about some top secret agency that may or may not exist. 

Then, Rosen and Cyrus face off, and Cyrus threatens Rosen with Abby, saying he’ll have her killed. Cyrus makes a deal with Mama Pope that hands her a get out of jail free card. That's right, Mama Pope is OUT! Rosen then has Olivia and Jake sign a statement retracting their B613 statements, again, holding their loved ones over their heads. Papa Pope cleaned house of all the documents and agents that could identify him.  Seems like Olivia and Jake are defeated…until, HuckleberryQuinn conversations recall the 2 bazillion dollars that they smuggled and hid. They use that to frame Papa, and claim that his alter-ego Anthropologist self has been siphoning off funds from his fancy museum job. So Command didn’t go down, but the man behind it, in his Clark Kent persona, did end up in jail. 

Mellie wins the election, happy-happy, celebration, until Lizzy has a chat with Fitz and lets the whole donor/list thing slip.  Fitz sees who it is, and knows what’s up. When they get back, Mellie is making plans for her future Presidency and Fitz loses his shit. Tells her she’s cray-cray if he’s going to let her run the country after what she did – Mellie has her typical deer-in-the-headlights look, and he kicks her the hell out! OUT! Out of his house! Out of his life! Then, he lays into Cyrus and kicks him to the curb! What the WHAT? 

Both have been escorted out. Methinks this is not the last we will see of Cyrus. 

Much later, you see Quinn bust into the office and hold a gun to Huck’s head. HUCKING HUCK!! He did it! She knew it once she saw the carnage. Huck says he didn’t have a choice – he was saving his family. She says she should just kill him. He screams “DO IT!” He’s officially off his meds again. 

Finally, in the seemingly never-ending triangle of Jake-Olivia-Fitz: Jake tells Olivia he did his job. He kept her safe per Fitz, and Command is in jail. He won’t come in despite her invitation because while he loves her, she loves him. He tells her to go. She does. While Fitz was knocking at her door, she was waiting on his balcony. Cue sappy music. The two are finally together. 

Summary: OUT:  Mellie, Cyrus, Mama Pope. In: Papa Pope. And Olivia and Fitz. In the bedroom that is...LOL. 

Also possibly out:  Jake. Huck. 

So really – who is more evil: Papa Pope or Cyrus? I’m not so sure anymore. Cyrus is just cut-throat. PP isn’t going down this easy, so something will go on there. Then there’s Jake. JAKE. Where is he going? First, Shonda makes me think he’s dead. Then she brings him back only to send him away again? Come on!! Give the guy a break! Quinn has Huck and Charlie (both twisted dudes), Abby has Rosen and Leo (who’s been absent the last few episodes), and Olivia had Fitz and Jake. Now she’s down to one dude. Huh? How? Give Jake to somebody. Lizzy? Mellie? No, no smelly Mellie for Jakey-poo.

He can’t be written out. Normally, season finale’s leave people dead – but this one did both: left a bunch of one-show characters dead, and “killed” a few others leaving us all wondering what happens next? Where does the show go from here? I have no idea….I’m so confused. I have all summer to get over it I guess. 

Other random thoughts: There was some conversation between Olivia and Fitz on the phone and while Liv calls VP Susan a national treasure, Fitz calls her a mess and Muppet. My brain went here…

Off to watch my new obsession, Salem. How did I not know about this show? It’s pretty darn good!  

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Scandal Season 4, EP 21: A Few Good Women...aka: Papa Pope the Matchmaker

Jake lives!!!!

Jake asks what happened to Olivia’s friend that used his chest as a cutting board.  She's handling it, she says. You know what that means…

Actually, Huckleberry Quinn are on the task. Special manicures and other torture methods.  Olivia walks in and tells Russell he doesn't get to die, and HQ will do things to him that are worse than death. They get creative about getting him to talk about Foxtail, and find out where command is located. You know those two are enjoying their adventures in meat carving. 

The VP is on tour and meets naval officer Amy. She notices something and asks her about her sleeping quarters and wants to see them. When she gets her alone, she questions her about her bruises, then takes her from there, and gets in the face of Fitz and Cyrus about female being raped in the military. She removed her from duty. And the boys tell her to put her back.   

“You stole a United States servicewoman!” Fitz and Cyrus claim she has to go back, and that it’s “not our place” to prosecute military crimes. Susan isn’t having it. At all. She calls them on their bullshit and says they don’t care about the rape of women in service. 

Hmm…another one of Shonda’s topics, methinks. 

Susan calls on Olivia to help, and when Liv meets gal-pal Abby to get some info, Abs is deflecting. Wants to know about her and Jakey shacking up, and the hot guy with the abs (she means Russell). Olivia talks to David Rosen about the ins-and-outs of military crimes, and then Mellie gets on board but only after some taking to. 

Mellie refuses to go to Springfield since the last time she was there, her son died. Lizzy talks her into going to improve her ratings. She uses the military rape as a way to get people to pay attention to her talking and her causes, and not her fledgling senate run.  

Amy spills the beans – it was an Admiral. The case goes to military court, and the JAG lawyer dude prosecuting is as green as a bean, and doesn’t have a clue about questioning a senior officer. Olivia has to pass him notes in court to help direct the questions. Virgil Punkett? Why not name him Jethro Clampett? When the navy refuses to turn over security records to determine the Admiral’s location (he claims he wasn’t there), Liv calls her head-honcho honey to make a call and get the files. Helps to have friends in high places. In the end, the Admiral was outed online, he confessed, all is right with the world. If only that were real life…

Just like in real life, you have dudes like Virgil Punkett that aren’t real. The real Punkett was dead, the imposter hucking drugged Huck, and set Russ free. But not before Jake and Russell basically share a beer and some good times...I don't know what that was all about.

Mellie, hot off her motivating speech, is whisked off to meet a high-rolling donor. Freaking freak it’s Papa Pope! Overheard…. “Operation Foxtail” is Mellie! EEEK!

Finally, you can’t leave out this quote: Jake talking to Olivia about how Papa Pope set her up to meet both Jake and Russell…

“A guy runs into you in a public place. It seems random, casual, he flirts a little ... he says all the right things. It's all just enough to pique your interest. We both came off the same assembly line. The only difference is, I'm in love with you.”


Season finale next week. Who will be killed off? What is up with Papa and Mellie? Where did Russell go and what is he up to now? Olivia needs to pick a side – I’m on Team JAKE!

Apologies for typos today -- I'm off to my happy place! Disneyland!