Monday, February 23, 2015

My man can do "The Walk"

It was a long day at work. Drama, issues, problem solving, technical issues that are unresolved, decisions that make me scratch my head and sigh. I sent The Man a text and asked what he wanted for dinner because I was going to just pick something up on the way home. I walk in, give him the food, and change into my comfy clothes so that I can park myself on the couch and eat. 

 The Man does what he normally does…searches the guide to find a movie –he puts on the last five minutes of Friday, the 13th, then when I groan about it, he says it’s over and he’s waiting for the next movie. What’s the next movie? None other than Saturday Night Fever. The movie is just about to start, he gets quiet, looks over at me and says: 

“I do the walk”
Me: “You do the walk?”
The Man “Yes, I do the walk.”
Me: “What walk?”
The Man: raises chin at television.
(aka – the universal sign for “that” or “there” or “over there”).
Me: “You mean the Saturday Night Fever, John Travolta walk?”
The Man: nods head. “Yes. The walk”
Me “Where do you do the walk?”
The Man: “At work. When the song comes on, I do the walk.”
Me: “And how often does that happen?”
The Man: “We listen to K-RTH [the oldies station] so it comes on often”
Me: “So you’re telling me that the Saturday Night Fever song comes on at work, quite frequently, and each time you do the walk?”
The Man: Nods head.
Me:  “Show me. We have enough space – do it. Do the walk to the door and back”
The Man: turns head toward me, nods, gets up, walks away, and waits. He waits in the hallway until the song is going, and walks in step with John Travolta. Same gait, same head bob, same swagger. 

I couldn’t help it…I laughed! It. Was. Perfect! The little bounce, the swinging of the arms, the whole shebang! 

Of course, he then sits and watches the movie and recites the lines. “Would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it. He hits my hair.”

He talks back to the movie. Makes sounds agreeing with what they’re doing “mmmhmmmm”

When they’re arguing, he says “bah.” As if he’s surprised and hasn’t seen this before. 

He laughs when Tony Manero yells at his mother that she has three shit children then cries and apologizes to her. 

He watches and nods, and when he thinks I’m not watching, he does a little bit of the dance moves in his chair. Just a little. 

After this, I can’t remember what happened today that made me freak, stress, groan, and grumble.

 All I know is my Man can do “the walk.”

Friday, February 20, 2015

Scandal Season 4, Ep 13: No More Blood. AKA Huck's her lobster!

Olivia was going to be sent to Iran, when she started speaking Farsi and outwitted the nitwit kidnappers that were selling her. Turning the Iranian buyer and sellers against each other, she escaped being handed off to another country for all kinds of fun torture and mayhem.
Once the kidnappers ran the auction again, Marie Wallace and “The Russians” (ooooh, scarrrry!) tied. Both won the auction. So Bad Guy Gus asked Olivia what she thought and she named Marie Wallace as the one they wanted to go with. They were on to her, or so it seemed, and decided to give her to the evil Russian dudes, whoever they are. 

When HuckleberryQuinn and Jake lose the auction, Jake goes to Mama Pope for advice. She says go see PapaPope, who basically says haha, you lost her! When Jake asks for his help, imploring that “She’s your daughter”, PapaPope quickly shuts down Jake saying that he “doesn’t have a daughter. “ 

 Cyrus decides that the risk of getting Olivia out alive is too great and rather than leave her as an enemy of the state, urges the CIA to kill her. When you have a frienemy like Cyrus, what else do you need? Abby is onto Cyrus and takes action! 

Mellie goes to the VP, who threatened to out her, and gave back his threat saying she would out him and his kinky-rough-slightly-on-the-light-side-of-grey sex.  She then goes to gal-pal Lizzy and gets her to recruit Huck to get to the VP. Saying “He needs to be shut down, shut up, rendered mute.” When Lizzy protests, Mellie snaps “I slept with that filthy bastard to save your life” which made me repeat in my head “Keep the change, you filthy animal” a la Home Alone! AHHHH!

Pay the piper, even the scales, 
show some solidarity Sister! Dizzy gets Huck to help with the VP.

 Since Quinn confessed her puppy love to Huck, and made him promise the whole “no more blood” thing, he strips the VP, saran wraps him, then poisons him and tells Lizzy to call 911. The VP had a stroke, cannot talk, and while he is lying in a hospital bed, Mellie whispers in his ear "you brought this on yourself."

Just when you thought that OP was off to drink some vodka and make snow angels in Russia, someone steps in to rescue her. But wait! There's the entire team watching the Liv handoff in a control room.  Cyrus said to neutralize the asset. The CIA Woman says "Fire!" Cyrus says "Don’t Fire!" Cyrus recognizes the person Olivia is getting handed off to (really? via satellite?) – and so does Olivia! It’s old-school Gladiator Stephen, who was really leading the Russian mobsters. She asks him if the guys standing around holding guns are his, he says yes, she takes a gun from him and shoots Bad Guy Gus in the leg, then as he goes down, kicks the ever-loving crap out of him. Stephen bought Olivia, ships her back to the US. 

How in the heck did this guy get involved as “The Russians” and get Olivia?….Numero Uno Gal Pal Abby. She contacted OG OPI Stephen and got him involved. Abby states “Once a Gladiator, always a Gladiator.” That my friends is the quote of the week.

Stephen, Stephen, please come back to OPI!!  When Cyrus tells Abby “Well done, Red” she tells him “and he doesn’t know you almost killed her.” Seems like neither one is talking. 

Once Liv gets back home, Fitz visits and she lays into him! What the hell dude, you don’t go to war for me! Giving in defeated her entire purpose – making him President. He says “I had to save you” and she screams no dude, “You didn’t save me. I’m on my own!” Throws the ring at his head!
Dude, he started a war for her, and she threw a ring in his face. I dunno, but to me, that should at least get a time out, not an all out evil ring throwing rant.

RelationshipFail? Yes. So, does she go to Jake? Who she very cordially sent home (along with HuckleberryQuinn) stating she wanted time alone, or does she end up with Fitz? Who she obviously has some unresolved issues with. Does Stephen come in on a horse wearing a  white hat and sweep her off her feet? Can anyone sweep Olivia? I’m not sure she’s a sweeping kind of girl. Maybe a drag-out-catfight. Ninja kicks. I don't know.

 Best parts of last-nights show: 

Cyrus losing his shit at Fitz….even though it was only a daydream

Mellie showdown with the VP. Can you say woman scorned? Anyone? Anyone?

Stephen: "You saved me. I didn't think I'd get the chance to return the favor" 

"Once a Gladiator, always a Gladiator"

Quinn telling Huck she’s his puppy. Awww. HuckleberryQuinn. He decides not to kill for her. Makes me want to draw hearts over their names claiming they’re MFEO (made for each other). You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. He's her lobster. Her person. Her evil sadistic 'no more blood' creepy dude. Such love. *sigh*

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Confessions of a bad-Catholic girl on Ash Wednesday...

Today marks the beginning of Lent. It’s Ash Wednesday.The day when all good Catholics are summoned to church service to receive ashes on your forehead in the sign of a cross.

The ashes come from palm branches from the prior year’s Palm Sunday festival that have been blessed and burned to ash. The ashes are placed in a bowl and the priest uses those ashes to place the cross on your head while reciting:
“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

Happy thoughts for a Wednesday afternoon, right? 

And the cross?  That’s assuming the priest has smallish fingers and actually makes a cross. Most times, it looks like a giant smudge. 

What happens when bad-semi-practicing Catholics like myself don’t go to Ash Wednesday services?  Do you still give up something for Lent and practice the penance of sacrifice and fasting so that you can show your service and dedication to the Lord? I’ve done this nearly every year since I was a child. Most times, you give up something you love: chocolate, hamburgers, and the like. Done all that. Needed something that was more of a challenge.
One year, I gave up coffee. After forty-days without caffeine, my students came to class on the Monday after Easter Sunday and promptly handed me FOUR Venti Starbucks espresso drinks and made me promise never to do that again. I haven’t.
Starbucks cannot spell my name...
Another year, at the suggestion of a co-worker and good Catholic son, I gave up evil thoughts about others. He tried to cure the crankiness. Didn’t work. And you want to know why? He set me up! Totally. He knew me too well and set me up to fail.  He knew it wouldn’t work and encouraged me to take this “no evil thoughts” challenge only so that he could catch me when I was trying really hard not to think of all the horrible things I wanted to do to someone when they pissed me off. Then he pointed and laughed. And made me say ten Hail Mary’s to repent. By the end of the week I was just reciting the prayer all day long.  

So here I am again at a cross-roads. What do I give up and sacrifice? Of course, it has to be something that I can actually live without. But that’s not really doing the full-Lent if you can really do without it, right? See why I’m stuck? Who made this so hard? And of course, when you don’t do what you are supposed to do, you have that good ol’ Catholic guilt! Seriously, I can’t take it!

Isn’t there a new religion called Catholic Lite? All of the celebrations and half of the guilt? 


So of course, I send a chat to said friend who wanted to see me fail because who else to seek advice about this than someone who teaches Catechism classes and is a youth leader? Here’s what he challenged. 

Give up being lazy. 

Damn! He does know me. And psychic too! The Hubster and I were just talking about doing the whole old people walk around the block after dinner because our bodies are getting old. Or we're out of shape. Maybe both. 

The activity is to walk every day during the week. Okay, I can get with that. I think. Except for Mondays when I get home too late, so maybe I’ll shift Monday to Saturday and take Sunday/Monday off. Dammit! See? I’m already making exceptions… 

Here’s the religious spin:

Each day you do a decade of the rosary...each week you will have done a mystery.
"4 weeks....4 mysteries. Then you’ll be in such a groove that you’ll do the last mystery on your own. As a reborn daughter of the faith."

Well, I’ll be some kind of a groove. I hope it’s not disguised as a ditch on the side of the road because my body has gone into shock because I’m walking and has fallen into said groove. We shall see what happens.

So there go you people. My forty-day challenge to give up being lazy, walk, pray, and get that leaky pipeline to heaven repaired. I'll keep you posted.