Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Game of Thrones, Season 5, Ep6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. AKA: Bent over and broken



So that just happened. 

Just when you thought that Game of Thrones couldn’t get any more gruesome, they did.
First, Arya continues to wash dead people. She keep asking questions – where are they taken? They go through a mysterious door that closes immediate after they take out the corpse, but then what? She puts her foot down and states she’s not giving anymore sponge baths to dead people until she gets answers. Hoo-boy. She got answers all right. First, she plays some slapstick version of Two Truths and a Lie, called Game of Faces. Except in this game when you lie, you get smacked with a stick. 

First, with her roommate. Then, Jaqen H’ghar asks her questions and smacks her when he catches her lying: She hates Hound. Lie. Smack. She wants to be No One. Lie. Smack. Later, a man brings his sick daughter to the temple telling Arya “She suffers every day of her life.”  Arya dons a straight face and lies to the girl, telling her she was very sick, once, and was dying. Since her father also loved her, so he brought her to the House to be healed by the waters from the fountain. She clearly lies her butt off when she tells the girl that drinking the water from heal her. Of course, it doesn’t, but she was able to lie and get away with it. 



This seemed to earn her some privileges and she is shown what’s behind door number 1. Jagen takes Arya to the Hall of Faces. Otherwise known as a creepy room with large columns of faces that the Faceless Man gets to use. Did you get that? Bizarre, I know. Any-hoots, my first question was “um, how do they get to the ones on top? Do they have to step on other faces to get to the top?” 

Next, Tyrion tells Jorah of his father’s death by the Nights’ Watchmen. Tyrion and Jorah are then captured and the men want to cut off Tyrion’s  *ahem* appendage,  because they think that dwarf cock has magical powers. *insert dirty comment here: doesn’t all cock have magical powers?* Tyrion convinces them to not give him a detachable penis and they agree – but only until they can find a cock merchant. They have cock merchants? What are those? IDK. it’s all so bizarre! When the fighting pits are mentioned, Tyrion also convinces them that Jorah is a prize fighter, and they should take him there. Of course, that just helps get them one step closer to the Dragon mother Daenerys. 

Littlefinger has given Sansa to the Boltons.  Littlefinger then returns to King’s Landing to tell Cersei that Sansa is alive and engaged to Ramsay. He also he promises her that the Knights of the Vale will fight for the Lannisters to take Winterfell. Why? So that he can be named Warden of the North. Cersei states she’ll believe him when he provides Sansa’s head on a spike. 

 Cersei also gets into it with her new daughter-in-law Margaery, who quickly calls in Gramma Lady Olenna as reinforcement. Lady and Cersei get into a verbal spar, and an inquest is held. Loras denies having relations with men, Margaery denies any knowledge of this until his boy toy is brought forward and confirms not only the relationship, but Margaery’s private peep show staring the two of them. Calling him a liar, he mentions Loras’ birthmark on his thigh. Whoopsie! Cersie is smug when she sees that both Loras and Margaery are carted off to jail. 


Cersei’s daughter Myrcella is in the garden with her betrothed Prince Martell when Jamie and Bronn bust in to save her. She doesn’t want to go with uncle/daddy Jamie. The Sand Snakes, a trio of women warriors that are Prince Oberyon’s daughters, come in ready to off Myrcella and Jamie and Bronn are in their way. They all end up duking it out until the guard Hota comes in and breaks it up, arresting Jamie and Bronn. 


Sansa is completing her bathing ritual before her wedding to twisted Ramsay. Her attendant, Myranda, tells tales of Ramsay’s abuse and his evil twisted ways. Sansa snaps back “How long have you loved him?” and lifts her chin “I’m Sansa Stark of Winterfell (biatch). This is my home. You can’t frighten me.”  Um, maybe you should have paid a bit more attention to Myranda. 


Theon is Sansa’s escort and he hands her off to be married to Ramsay. They retreat to the bedroom – and I mean THEY. All three of them: Ramsay, Sansa and Theon. Ramsay asks if she’s a virgin telling her not to lie to her new husband. He then tells her to remove her clothes, and orders Theon to stay put. And watch. “You’ve known Sansa since she was a girl. Now watch her become a woman.”

The scene ends with a close up of her face down on the bed, crying. Theon standing in the corner, crying. Sansa is bent over and Theon is broken again. SO disturbing, yet it's not. Ramsay is more evil than Jofrey. Theon is too beaten down to stop it. Sansa knows fighting will make it worse. 

What did this scene accomplish? It’s not on the books. It’s not even Sansa that marries Ramsay – it’s a girl pretending to be Arya.Where is GoT going with this? What are they setting up? We'll just have to wait and see....

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