Oh where do I start? This one just...ugh. UGH.
First, Eric is kicking some Yakuza ass, then he and Pam are captured and are forced to wait for the sunrise demise. Oh but wait! In rides Mr. Gus – the Yakuza Cowboy with his white suit and black Stetson so you know he’s one of the bad guys. He wants Sara Newlin as well and after some typical man bickering, Pam buts in and makes a deal – they’ll give up Newlin’s location if they get out of their silver chains. She tells them to stop with their dick measuring contest and get over it! They decide that Eric gets to kill her, and Gus can have her body. Once the shades are drawn and their death by sunlight has been stopped, Pam tells Gus about Sara’s sister.
Jason sits in his car, struggling to go back to Violet because ya know, he was just with Jessica and all. Violet has this whole seduction thing going on, complete with candles and sexy lingerie. She tells him she knows that she can be a bit “aggressive” and proceeds to show him that he’s “appreciated”. Ahem.
After discovering that he’s Hep-V-Positive, Bill calls a lawyer to settle his affairs. Jessica comes in the house and hears his conversation and tries to maintain her composure but you can tell she’s stunned at the news. Bill is gathering his papers in his office and see’s Jessica approaching. He asks her about James, she asks if he’s okay, and they both lie and say they’re fine. Bill leaves and goes to the lawyer’s office and has to take a number and wait! Bill Compton. Waiting in the lobby with cheesy muzak and all.
Jessica is back still at the house and calls Jason. She tells him she’s not okay, and he gets out of bed to talk to her. She tells him to go get Sookie and bring her to Bill’s house ASAP. Jason grabs his clothes and bolts out the door. Violet wakes, and is pissed! Uh-oh. This isn’t going to be good. She goes all woman scorned and breaks shit. Later, Jason goes back to find a note from Violet that the relationship wasn’t working for her and she’s gone. Good riddance!
Jason gets to Sookie’s and finds her still curled in bed wrapped in Alcide’s jacket. He drags Sookie out of bed and makes her go to Bill’s house. Once they arrive, Jessica tells Sookie about Bill’s status. Sook realizes that she may be infected and asks Jason to take her to get tested. You know what’s coming don’t you? The results are in and Sookie Stackhouse, you ARE a Hep-V Carrier. You gave it to Bill. Bitch. How many men will you have a hand in killing on this show?
Bill finally has his number called at the lawyers office, only to find that he can’t easily change his will and since he was technically dead when the will was drafted, he can’t pass his property to his progeny. Lawyer lady tells him progeny’s are not recognized anyway, and he could do a work around. Bill would have to adopt Jessica, but that would take 5 months to a year. He could also choose to expedite the process for a cool $10 million and that would move him to the front of the line. Bill gets pissed and tries to mind control her, but she’s got on her blue-blocker anti-glamour contacts. He stands to leave and she insults him again and he snaps, picking up her letter opener and stabs her in the neck. He then cool as punch, picks up a pencil and takes out the dude running in to help her.
He returns home to find Sookie and Jessica crying on his stairs.
Andy wakes up and hears Adelyn making some moaning sounds from her room. Thinking she’s crying, he walks into room and finds her underneath Wade. Ahem.
Andy goes into dad mode, freaks out, screams and jumps at him!
“Fucken little piss-ant cock-sucker! I’m going to ring your neck you little cock sucker!”
He jumps over the bed, and runs out of the house with Andy hot on his tail, followed by Holly, Adelyn, and Arlene. Arlene defends her boy, and takes him home until Andy calms down, telling him she’ll deal with him later. Holly tries to cover Wade’s naked bum as they walk away. Or maybe she’s copping a feel of young backside.
As they arrive at BelleFleurs, Arlene tells Holly to let Andy out of the dog house, and talk to her son about the birds and the bees before she has grandkids are your step-grandkids too! They get inside the restaurant and find the mess that was left behind, Arlene says
“Well, shit happens Holly. You clean it up”
Andy comes in still pissed that Holly’s son was “sticking it” to his daughter. The two face off, Andy blaming Wade, Holly blaming Adelyn. Arlene tells them to both shut their pie holes! Love her! She gives her advice to get them talking, and work things out. They apologize with a few jabs thrown in and Arlene kicks them out to talk to those crazy hormone raging kids. They go home only to find that they have left because they want to be alone.
Holly says “Rocky honey, you know that I love. I do. But I will GUT you if I have to. Now where THE FUCK did they go?”
And I thought my mom was scary. *Shivers*
In a treehouse, they’re playing kissy face again when Violet shows up. She cons them saying that she can smell Adilyn a mile away. Ditch the cells phones so they can’t be tracked.
“Who am I to stand in the way of true love”
She leads them away….
Lafayette takes Lettie Mae back to his place, and discovers James it there waiting. He asks for a place to stay the night. Lafayette tells him in his sultry voice “Sure thing.”
After introductions are made, Lafayette schools Lettie Mae, telling her:
“James is a vampire, but be getting no bright ideas of taking a cleaver to him in the middle of the day.”
Mama-Mae tells her Tara woes, and James volunteers his own blood, believing that Tara may be trying to talk to her. Lafayette says fine, but he getting vamp-high with her.
“We’re about to put some closure on this bitch. You getting me?”
James feeds both of them, they flop on the couch in their Vampblood high, and James goes down to the cellar. Mama-Mae starts to dream about Tara, who leads her and Lafayette back to their old house. Tara is digging up something in the yard, and the Rev wakes up Mae. Lafayette believes Mama-Mae and says they have to get to that old house. Rev tells Lettie Mae that he loves her, but cannot see her watch and do this to herself. Tells her she has to choose – the V or him. She says it’s not about the “V”, that her baby is trying to tell her something and she has to do this. The Rev walks away.
Sam returns home to find his woman Nicki is going home. Not for a few days – she’s leaving for good saying she doesn’t belong there. She. Is. Done.
Sara is seen jumping the fence and breaking into said sister’s casa. Once inside, her sister jumps her and takes a bite out of her, then proceeds to choke on Sara’s blood. Once they get up, Sara is surprised that her sister is sick, and Amber tells her “Fuck you, you did this to me” then promptly passes out.
Amberwakes up, and Sara confesses that the Yakuza and some other really awful vampires are trying to kill her and sissy tells her to get out. She doesn’t care that their parents are dead, telling Sara that they all turned their backs on her and make her sick. Made her sick. Sara says she’s not that same person. She’s Newme. Not Sara Newlin anymore. She then tells her that she drank the antidote when the vampires revolted and she drank the entire supply of Hep-V Antidote. She’s the savior!
“ I am the antidote sweetie. Let me save you!”
Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot!
The Yakuza and their TRD-infused imports show up at Amber’s house. She answers the door and they find her…cured.
Pam of course, barks “What. The. Fuck?”
Eric grabs her by the throat and asks “How come you’re healed?”
UUUGGGGGHHH. NOT NEWLIN!!!
How does TB take the most heinous character and make her the one that can save everyone? Genius. Pure genius. Evil genius.
Next week: Amber tells that Sara is the cure. Sookie is running off to find it. Andy can’t find Adilyn and calls on Jessica for help. Violet is still evil and twisted.
Dead this week: no one!