Friday, June 12, 2015

Game of Thrones, Season 5, Ep 9: Dance of the Dragons. AKA: Fly Dragon Fly!

Camp Stannis goes up in flames! Seems like Ramsay and his 20 merry-men have been in, and have done some damage. Stannis talks to Ser Davos who urges him to go back to Castle Black. Stannis is not convinced, and said they’re not going back, nor are they going to move forward. They’re staying put, but they’re going to need supplies. Davos is then ordered back to Castle Black to get more horses, food, and supplies. Davos tries to get Shireen and her mother to go with them, and Stannis refuses saying he has to keep his family with him. Davos talks to Shireen before he leaves and has her read to him. The story of the Dance of Dragons, and he gives her a wooden horse. She's happy. 
Later, while Stannis is talking to his daughter, Stannis tells his Shireen he must fulfill his destiny and become what he is meant to be, even if he hates it. Sweet Shireen says it’s okay dad, no biggie. It doesn’t matter that I don’t know what you’re up to – I’ll help. Shireen and Stannis hug it out and he whispers “forgive me.”

Shireen is then seen being carted through the show toward the stake. She has no clue what’s coming until she sees Melisandre and the pyre. Shireen calls for her father, and Meli says “It’ll all be over soon, Princess.” Despite her gut wrenching screams for her father, and then for her mother, she’s sacrificed. 

“Cleanse her with your fire and let her light lead our way. Accept this token of our faith and lead us through the darkness” proclaims Meli. Despite her cries, papa Stannis says it must be done – she’s king’s blood. Sadly, there’ no arrow through the heart for this girl to spare her suffering. 

Jon Snow and his Wildling group arrive at the Wall. Ser Allister is not happy to see them. Allister and Jon seem to have a telepathic conversation:
“Who are these dudes?”
“Come on, let me in”
“Seriously, who’s the giant?”
“Oh, that’s just Wun-Wun. He’s harmless. A gentle giant”
“Uuuugh. Fiiiiine. Open the gates”

Jon, always broody and hard on himself, claims he feels like a failure. Sam tries to tell him he’s not, and give him an uplifting speech: “Hey, look. See that dude? He doesn’t think you’re a failure. Nor does that dude. Or that chick over there.” Jon turns to Olly for some dark support, and Olly just turns away from him. Ser Alliser walks by and tells Jon: “You have a good heart, Jon Snow, but it will get us all killed.”
Allister! Way to kick a guy when he’s down! 

The Kingslayer is given an audience with Prince Doran, Ellaria Sand, Myrcella and her fiancĂ© Trystane. Myrcella, sporting some sexy Dorne clothing and Jamie doesn’t approve. He tells her What a lovely dress. You must be cold.” Myrcella tells her Daddy-Uncle Jamie “The Dornish climate agrees with me.” Smirk. When Ellaria questions why Jamie came for Myrcella he tells her they received a threat – the princess’s necklace in the jaws of a viper. Uh-oh. Myrcella says that the necklace was stolen from her room, and Ellaria has a deer in the headlights look. Busted. 

Duncle Jamie says she must go back to Kings Landing, and Prince Doran allows this, as long as she can take Tyrstane with her. Dorne reminds Jamie that Sweet Prince Oberyn once held a spot on the Small Council, and Trystane will now take that place. Jamie agrees. As Doran makes a toast to the new King, Ellaria spills her glass refusing to toast to the Lannister boy. Needless to say, the Prince is not pleased! He threatens her life. 

Jamie then asks about his pal Bronn. Seems Bronn is still locked up across from the Sand Snakes, who are playing a game of slap hands. Bronn is brought back to the fold with Jamie and gang, and Trystane is given the power to determine what happens to Bronn. Trystane wants a bit of payback, and Hotah gets to bitch slap Bronn for payback. He ends up elbowing him in the face and Bronn goes down! 

Doran offers Ellaria the chance to show her loyalty to him, and she bows to kiss his ring. Doran tells her there are no second or third chances. She then goes off to find Jaime. When she finds him in his room, she tells him Myrcella, his daughter, did’t have anything to do with Sweet Prince Oberyn’s death, and maybe Jamie didn’t have anything to do with it either. 

Come on – can’t he come back in some dream sequence or something? Just once? You let Drogo do that! Anyhoots. Here's one more look at the Sweet Prince Oberyn....*sigh*

Arya is off to sell her oysters, and slip some poison, to the Thin Man. While walking through the street, she sees Mace Tyrell and his men coming off a ship. One of them is Meryn, the dude that killed her sword teacher. He’s on her list. She becomes distracted and leaves the Thin Man hungry and follows Meryn and his men. Once they are in a brothel, Meryn is shown women so he can have some fun for the evening. Like Golidlocks, he keeps rejecting them. “This one’s too old. This one’s too old. This one’s too old.” The mistress finds a young gal for him and he says “this one’s just right.” Eww. Arya is looking on and is shooed out by the Mistress, but not before Meryn takes a look at her. Either he recognizes her, or he thinks she’s just young enough to be his toy for the next night. Arya returns to Jaqen who asks about the Thin Man. Arya replies that he wasn’t hungry, and Jaqen quips “Perhaps that’s why the man is thin.” Teehee.

Then, it’s game time!! OMG It’s a roast, Dragon style!!

The games are about to begin, and the announcer states “Free citizens of Meereen! By the blessings of the Graces and her majesty the Queen, welcome to the Great Games!” Daenerys questions Hizdahr and asks where’s he’s been. He says he’s just making sure everything is in order. What is he up to? 

Once the challengers are introduced, they all state “I fight and die for your glory, oh glorious queen.” The first two are the quick and the strong. The crowd waits for the Queen’s command, and she slowly claps her hand to start the game. Daario taunts Hizdahr and tries to goad him into betting on who will win. Hizdahr gives some speech that makes Dany take note: 

“You. Yourself. Have you ever tried to kill another man that was trying to kill you?” she asks him. Crickets. He’s got nothing to say. He continues to argue for violence in the service of greatness, and Dany and Tyrion aren’t in agreement. The Quick is the one to die, as his head is chopped off. 

On to Round 2: It’s the Meereenese champion against a Westerosi Knight. Wait, What? WHAT? Ser Jorah! 

Jorah arrives in the center of the ring to fight for his Queen. Dan looks concerned, and the fight begins with the clap of her hands. Jorah is having a hard time – the other dude is taking some good licks at him. Jorah is down. Looks like it’s all over as he gazes up upon his Queen Dany. Then, with some quick moves he stabs the guy ready to take him out in the gut, steals his spear, and chucks it behind Dany killing a Son of the Harpy that was sneaking up to kill the Queen. Whew, did you get that? You better. It’s a Harpy Ho-Down as they all come out of the crowd and start killing everyone. Daario is freaked and the slaughter begins.

 Daario yells “protect your Queen!” and he goes into battle. Jorah gets Dany out of the way. Hizdahr proves he’s never had to fight for his life, and he goes down. Stabbed. Dany is lowered to the pit and they try to escape through one of the tunnels, only to be blocked by more Harpies. They run to another and it’s the Harpy Horde! They start to attack as the Queen is in the center of a circle, surrounded by her small number of guards, Missandei, Tyrion, Daario, and Jorah. The fighting begins, Dany grabs Messandei’s hand and closes her eyes when she hears a scream in the skies. It’s Drogon! Her baby Dragon all grown up, and coming in to save his mother. 

Drogon lands in the center, spewing fire upon those that were trying to hurt his mommie. The ones not going up like marshmallows in a bonfire are throwing spears at Drogon and a few actually hit their target. Dany approaches and takes out a spear to save her baby-Dragon-Drogon. He turns and roars at her, then calms when he sees mommie dearest. 

She has no choice but to climb on top of him, and with her command “Valahd” they fly away. 

 Valahd. Fly? Save us? Get the Eff Out? Who knows… 

Tyrion saves Missandei, Ser Jorah saves his beloved Dany, and more than a few Harpys are burnt to a crisp. Sheesh. And I thought last week had the epic fight scene. No one told me there was “How to Fame your Drogon” episode this week. I would have saved the Epic comment!! 

What happens now with Meereen? 

Next week’s season finale previews: Cersie is a hot mess! Jon Snow is asked what he is going to do. Will the sacrifice of Shireen pay off, or is Melisandre full of hot air? She claims the Lord of Light has made good on his promise and Stannis roars “The siege beings at sunrise!” Will Stannis make it to Winterfell, where Brienne is waiting…Will Arya get her man? Which one – the Thin Man, or Mace? And… Sansa wants to die while there is still some of her left. I don’t think that next week will be Red Wedding status, but who knows?

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