Burke the Jerk.

“She took my eyebrows and now I'm a Burke.”

So, flashback episode tonight was first, of course, the one where the dick Burke left Cristina at the altar. Yeah yeah yeah, don't tell me about how young everyone looked, how what's her name Derek's ex-wife that went over to Private Practice was still there, and how Callie was still into dudes, and George was still alive and Izzie wasn't completely annoying yet. Who cares?

BITCH GOT LEFT AT THE ALTAR!!! Well, in the lobby room of the church, but she had the dress on so it's pretty much the same thing since it's the dude that waits at the altar but....semantics. Yes, I’m rambling. I’m FREAKING.THE FUCK.OUT!!

Why? Why are you asking why? Okay fine, because I was over, done, d.o.n.e. done with Grey’s Anatomy because it should have ended three seasons ago with that damn plane crash that took out Dr. McHottie. So I checked out, until I saw what that evil mastermind behind this show (and Scandal) did (yes, Shonda Rhimes, I’m talkin’ to you!)– she brought back Burke! The bastard. Canceled on their wedding day, then cleaned out and left. Gone. Not to be seen until today.

As if homechick Cristina isn’t having enough drama – not getting that award, she’s had an entire family of kids going belly up – then, THEN finally getting away from it all and going to Zurich to do some presentation and shit from the past comes back to haunt you. She's at the podium, talking, a voice calls out “I have a question.” From someone hidden in the crowd. Drama. Steps into the light. HELL NO!!

To quote Meredith “SHUT UP!”

It’s Burke the Jerk. Can I just call him BJ from here on out? I think I will.

So he’s running his own hospital and finds a way to get Cristina back.  Uses his staff members name since he didn’t think she’d respond to him since, Um, “Given the circumstances of our last interaction”
Cristina: “Me in a white dress and you fleeing the state?”

Of course, C calls Mer who tells her: “Before you do something rash, remember a few things. Remember that he cut away pieces of you. Remember that his mama took your eyebrows. Remember that it took the past seven years to get over him…..”

Does Cristina do that? Does she tell him to go to hell? To fuck the hell off? Noooooo, she hangs around him and gets dazzed by his technology going into geeklovedom. Oh, then we find he’s still a jerk. He wants her. He wants to get her back, but not like that. He has a woman – one who did what Cristina wouldn’t do – she gave up her career, married him willingly, has his children. Blah Blah Blah. BJ. Totally a dick. Selfish dick. BJ.

“I see your life has moved on. I want you to know that mine has too.” – Cristina
“… I know, you’ve become a magnificent surgeon. You’ve become everything I’ve dreamed you’d be.” – Burke the Jerk.

 “Mer, everything I have ever wanted is here. Except he’s here.” – Cristina

 “I never wanted to work for you. I wanted to be you. The best thing that ever happened to me was you walking away from me. I am better for it.” - Cristina

“Us working together will be…it’ll destroy my marriage. My life. The way I loved you was consuming. You’ll hold the carrot and I’ll be chasing you. I have a family now, a life that….a life a want. I don’t want you to work for me. I want you to take over for me. I am leaving.” - BJ

“You’re offering me your hospital. Like you’re Willy Wonka and you’re offering me your chocolate factory?” – Cristina

“This place is yours Cristina if you want it. Do you?” – BJ

What I really REALLY wanted her to do, is lose her shit. Just like the freak out in the wedding dress, pulling that shit off, crumbling. Girl, I wanted you in his face, talking shit, waving your index finger, going full ghetto chola with your painted-on eyebrows. She didn’t. She does give him bitch face and stares him down but that’s it.

Anticlimactic. I got all worked up for nothing.

So, bottom line - Cristina comes home, gives Mer chocolate. Haha. Willy Wonka.

Mer knows immediately. “You’re leaving”.

So what happens when it’s really over next week? Who knows. Cristina might go. She might stay for Owen. For Meredith. Will I be there to watch it? Don’t think so. Oh, don’t get me wrong – I’ll put that shit on DVR and fast forward through all the stuff I don’t want to see (which is about 80% of the show), then satisfy my morbid curiosity and see how it ends. This time for real.