The Naughty Professora: The holiday I hate to hate...

It's that time of the year again, and I don't mean the changing of the leaves beckoning fall and cooler weather. It's October, which in my house means all things Halloween. The man loves Halloween. As in, LOVES Halloween. He starts getting ready for it in September. I made him wait until October to watch scary movies on TV. Now, he's taken over the remote (more than he normally does) and is watching old scary movies: Aliens, Hellraiser, and of course, Halloween.

While I love that he loves Halloween, I'm sitting here thinking "oh crap! Do I really have to get dressed up? I hate that shit!!!"

I've tried. Really I have. I just don't get all excited about dress up, unless it's in a fancy dress. Trying to decide what character I should be, finding the right costume, the accessories, the special make up....UUURRRGH. It's all too much.

Until we moved to a new house last year, we lived on a block that had an elementary school nearby. Hundreds of kids came trick or treating, literally cleaning us out of a 60 quart sized bin full of candy. I'm not kidding. Kids (and a few adults) would line the walkway, at time waiting to come up to the door. Crazy.

The man decorates the house, has strobe lights, fog machines, flying shit, animated evil things, and he is in charge. In his element.

One year, he was Michael Myers, and a kid asked if he could come to his birthday party and scare people. Another year, he was this pumpkin head thing and won $500 bucks at a costume contest at the local hole in the wall bar.

He's been Dracula, the Grim Reaper, and a host of other scary dudes.

So, I tried to be supportive and get dressed. The first year I tried to be a witch thinking "well how hard can it be to cut up an old black dress and wear a pointy hat?" Apparently, it's pretty hard since the costume looked like crap. Then, I tried to go with the whole vampire woman thing, as he was in full Dracula mode, complete with cape, teeth, and pointy ears. I looked like crap. Then I thought, "okay, I'll try to be a super hero! I love Miss Marvel, I could do that!" Except, yah, you guessed it. I couldn't. Didn't have the blonde hair. Or the long legs. Or...well, any of it working for me.

It's not just The Man that loves Halloween. Seems like everyone around me digs it as well. All my friends dress up. One comes up with the most amazingly creative costumes I don't know how she does it. Another goes with a theme every year and her and her husband even rent some of the more elaborate costumes!! Her kids were even born on Halloween! I'm the oddball pouting in the corner without a cool costume.

So what does a girl like me, who really hates that I hate this holiday do to get in the groove? Okay, maybe hate is a strong word. How about: "Strong dislike due to years of disappointing costumes and lack of creative process to pull something off"?

Still, I need to muster up the enthusiasm pronto and find a new attitude towards the day. I searched Amazon's Halloween Costume link for something (because come on, Amazon has everything!), and came up with the following: 1) I can look like a pirate/vampire/superhero-ho and purchase a costume (aka: skimpy dress) that will likely smoosh the hooters up into the stratosphere while simultaneously frightening most children and garnering leery eyes from their parents. Definately their fathers; 2) I can do a medieval thing and cover myself up and say it's from the Game of Thrones, or c) hope like hell The Man was serious about being Eddie Munster this year and I can go with Lily Munster, because THAT I might be able to pull off. Maybe.