Willa is pissed! Screaming at Pam because Eric left her. He sits on his throne and acknowledges that he’s been a horrible maker for her. He also tells her he came back to find her “step-mother” Sara Newlin. She’s crafty – makes a bargain that she will tell what she knows if he releases her. Eric does without hesitation.
“It’s like getting kicked in the cooch by a wallaby, isn’t it?”
Amber Mills, a vampire. Sister to Sara. Amber is in Dallas. Off they go!
Ginger begs to be taken with. Then begs Eric to have sexy times with her before he goes.
Ginger: Do you know what a sex slave is without the sex?
Pam: A slave?
He doesn’t and she latches onto his coffin screaming like a banshee. She’s coo-coo that one.
Eric shows up at Ambers house to discover that she’s infected as well. She tells Eric her boyfriend turned her, and once she did, Sara freaked and paid her off to stay in the coffin while telling others that she was taken by vamps and disappeared.
Pam likes Amber. Amber says that Sara has just arrived in Dallas, and went to mommy and daddy’s place. Actually, at a gala where the rents are going to be located. Pam says they’re going, Amber counters, nuh-uh, they only invite assholes. Eric, bless his heart, says they can BE assholes. *swoon*
Eric and Pam get cleaned up, each buying the other’s outfit. After getting Pam dressed in a pageant worthy purple sequenced dress, Pam quips. “Oh. My Gawd. I’m a Republicunt!” As Eric is changing, pam cries that he’s Stage 2, and freaks out. He tells her “I’m gonna die Pam. You have to accept that.” I’m with Pam – I’m not accepting of that AT ALL!
At the party, Eric is in a big ol’ ten gallon hat and a bolero tie! In their best Pam and Eric Do Dallas duds, they hit that fundraiser. While taking a potty break, Sara appears to her mother who asks her “Have you lost your ever-lovin’ mind?” Like a good southern mom, she asks “What have you done? Look at your hair!” She says she can’t help her because “My daughter is the monsters that created the monsters that are scaring everyone!” Sara says she’s not a monster, she’s a Buddhist. Then confesses that the Yakuza are after her. Eric finds daddy and asks about Sara, just as the Yakuza people come in guns a blazin’! They start shooting up the place, and kill pops when he says he doesn’t know where Sara is at. Sara and her mama are running away with the Yakuza chasing them, mom gets shot in the back, Sara rounds a corner only to be confronted by Eric. He picks her up by the throat only to be distracted by the Yakuzas. He vamp speeds over and kills them.
Lafayette goes to Sookie to see how she’s holding up. She’s being a crybaby. Says the house feels empty. Faye quips, well yah, Alcide was a big man and did take up a lot of space. He takes care of her and tucks her into bed, saying he will be there when she wakes up. He’s a doll. Can I have my own Lafayette?
Sookie wakes to the sounds of banging, and fins that it’s Jackson packing up his son’s goods. Lafayette has set up an entire spread. Sookie asks why there’s enough food to feed the town on her table. Lafayette tells her it’s because the entire town will be there – they’re throwing a party. She’s too sad to have a party. Faye says “F-you to death, and hello to life”. Then he brings out the big guns. “What would Tara Want? What would Alcide want?” Hmm. Then Bill arrives carrying flowers for Sookie. She invites him in while she goes up to put her face on for the shindig.
Everyone’s grooving, even Bill is head bobbin’ while hanging at the fireplace. Holly and the girls are getting tanked. Meanwhile, Bill has a flashback to his early days, where he learns that Lincoln is going to war.
Making a toast, Jackson says that Alcide died a hero. His righteous cause was fighting for Sookie apparently. Lettie Mae shows up and Lafayette tries his best to drag her crazy ass out, but Sook keeps her there. She goes on to say that Tara was also a hero, sacrificing herself to save mama.
Jessica is outside alone, and Andy comes out to check on her. She can’t go inside, and he says she can’t keep torturing herself over the girls as it’s making it hard on him as well. Life’s too short to be looking backwards. Andy is moving forward and tells Jess he needs her help to do that. He asks her for a ring so he can propose to Holly. Right now. Jessica asks Sookie for her gram’s ring. Andy finds Holly downstairs and he tells her he doesn’t deserve a woman like her, but he wants her anyway. She screams “YES!” and he says “um, I didn’t ask you yet. You gotta let me ask.” Awwwww. So cute.
Arlene and Sook have a heart-to-heart, and Arlene confides that she would often wear Terry’s jacket after he died just to feel close to him. Later, Keith says hi to Arlene, and Sookie asks him to tone down his sexy. He’s smitten with Arlene and says she’s the most beautiful woman he’s seen in 300 years, and that he’ll see her in her dreams. Purrrrrrr. She says she has to go make tinkle because she’s a human and all! Fricken Arlene! She’s a hoot!
James and Lafayette are having a deep conversation on the porch, and James confesses that Jessica gives him just enough love and affection to keep him hooked to her. Lafayette asks if James and Danny, his old army buddy were, you know, (insert obvious hand gesture here) and James says yes. Well, now you know why Danny’s dad beat the crap out of James. Lafayette makes his move and they start making out!
Later, Jessica goes looking for James, and he’s outside getting busy with Lafayette in the back of a car. He looks up and sees her and she screams at him and runs. He says he’s sorry, she runs into the house and gets Jason to rescind his invite into the home. Jason goes after Jessica, and James just wants to be alone. Lafayette tells him “You know where I live.”
Lafayette confronts Jessica and tells her he knows her man better than she does. When she can’t answer key questions that Faye is asking, she realizes he may be right. He gets in her face and states “Has it ever fucking occurred to you that maybe I want a piece of happiness too?” He asks Jessica to let James go if she’s not fully committed to him so that he can take over.
Jason tells Jessica that he would have loved to put his granny’s ring on someone’s finger someday, but not Violet’s. Jessica thinks he is sweet and kisses him. Then they get semi-naked and get busy. I think she’s officially over James. Violet hears them and goes upstairs and listens outside the door. She’s not happy.
Lettie Mae then goes cray-cray and stabs Willa, saying Tara is trying to contact her from the other side and only Willa’s blood can get Tara’s answers. Lafayette tells her it’s not her drinking problem that makes people think she’s crazy. It’s the fact she just stabbed someone.
Sams’s woman Nicole freaks and says that everyone on this town is nuts, throwing a party when people are dead, HVamps are running amuck, and all hell is breaking lose around them.
After everyone has left, Sookie looks around and finds Alcide’s jacket on her bed. She puts it on and crawls up reaching over to his now empty pillow. It’s really quite emotional and sad. But dammit, it’s still her fault!
Bill flashbacks continue to show him talking to his Caroline. He doesn’t want to fight. Tells her she was his first and only true love. He vows to come back to her and the children. He wakes in the bathtub, and goes out to see himself in the mirror – and he’s infected too!
Now what? At least no one else died in this episode, but is TB really going to kill off Eric AND Bill in the same way? Is there no-one left in the end? We shall have to wait and see…