Holy Crap it's time!!!
Game of Fricken Thrones people! Seriously. Who is still alive? Who is left?
I always have to watch this show twice. The first time I watch, I miss shit, laugh at random things, hear things I shouldn't hear. Here's a sample of the first ten minutes.
"The king is never safe. Go serve as a glorified bodyguard. Go home. Return to Castle Rock." Castle Rock? Isn't that a beer? Oh wait, that's something else. Rolling Rock is beer. Or was I thinking Fraggle Rock? Whatever.
"How many something somethings does it take to fuck a goat? Yellow Balls?"
Now this was suppose to be about who they were meeting. Not at all about fucking a goat with yellow balls.
Girls on parade. Not timid, but flexible. "I'm not a lady" No shit! "I'm a bastard, she's a whore, and you're a procurer". Remember that song "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint". Now go back and re-watch and tell me you're not singing "I'm a bastard, you're a whore...."
God I love this show!
Okay so really here's what happened. Senior Lannister melts down Ned Stark's sword into two new and improved ones, giving one to Jamie. Cerci's little twit son King Joffrey is still a twit. Joffrey talks shit to Jamie for losing his hand. Jamie tries to get it on with Cerci only she's uber pissed that he was gone when she needed him (you know that whole pesky imprisonment thing he had going on). John Snow answers questions about the Wildlings.
Daenerys plays with her dragons who are acting like rebellious teenagers (might I add, doing this while wearing skinny jeans and boots), then appears dazzled by Daario's presenting her flowers under the guise of strategy: "you must know your land". BTW: New Daario. Get use to it.
Tyrion tries to ease the pain from his his wife Sansa (who is majorly depressed because his father murdered her family), while dealing with his jealous servant/mistress. Sansa receives a pretty necklace from a fool. Dantos? I can't remember his name. He was the one drunk at the joust party.
Arya and the Hound are back, and Arya kicks some ass. Like some twisted joke, "A Hound and a girl walk into a tavern...". Hound talks trash to Polliver, drinks his beer, demands chickens, and basically, calls him a cunt mouth. Then he kicks some ass. Sword fight!
Oh and remember when that jerk Polliver took her Needle sword? Yah, well she got that bitch back telling Polliver "Fine little blade....Maybe I'll pick my teeth with it". AND she finally gets her own horse! Drop the mike. Exit stage left.