Friday, April 11, 2014

Hucking Huck

Let me be straight, this is not an episode recap. Well, not really. This is a summary of my crazy thoughts while watching the show. There are some quotes, story lines, and snark. and it's not chronological - I always watch twice and then piece things together.

If you've seen the show, you'll know what's going on. If you haven't seen it, um, what's wrong with you and why are you here? Spoilers people! It's the Hucking next-to-the-last-episode of the season!And you'll catch on quickly, that I love using Huck and a way to describe not only his antics, but refrain from using my potty mouth to continually say "Fuck". But only during Scandal. Because I can.
Episode 317: Flesh and Blood. 

Really this episode should be called "Hucking Around". 
It's going DOWN! Fitz hi-tails it over to his squeeze and yells at Olivia for taking down B-613.

"Did you really just, Treason?"
"Is that the President"
"You just dismantled B-613, are you out of your mind?"

Yes s/he did! During the last episode, Huck doing what Huck does, Hacked that fricken computer and poof! Black screens in surveillance van, Jake's office goes dark, no communication. Of course, Jake was in the middle of a convo with Quinn and Charlie, trying to find the bomb dude when all goes dark. Of course, Jake's no fool, no siree. He figures out she set him up with her late night visit and outs their little sexy time trist, Fitz is still in the room and looks like his head is going to explode. 
 Jake freaks the hell out, B-613-lines it over to Pope Industries, and forces Olivia against a wall, choking her asking her "What did you do??"
Oh hell no. You do not shag a gal then put her in a choke hold. Unless she's naked. And she wants that dom shit. He is not happy with her and says "A good quick tug on the zipper?!" got her intel.

Whoops. And now they're all inside Pope palace yelling at each other. 
As if it can't get any more intense, in walks Papa Pope to the theme song "Super Bad"! YIKES! 
"How may I be of service?" 

Then Charlie and Quinn. It's a fricken dysfunctional Pope family reunion!
"Quinn. Olivia. Command. Other Command."

Then things go like this:
Olivia: Dad stop.
PP: I stay, he goes
Olivia: Jake. 
Olivia sets Jake out.
Jake: I don't believe this!

She runs out after Jake and tries to reason with him about being free and out of B-613. Jake says "Nobody gets out". Jake throws down a quick talking Olivia style rant, telling her exactly what her father will do to her: "He will reel you in and hold you in his arms and tell you that he loves you, then once you feel safe, he will take everything that matters from you. He will brake your bones and step over your body on the way out. That's what he taught me to do.You think he's your dad, that's just a part he is playing. A mask. 
Once his mask comes off....RUN."

EEEK! I can't stop yelling EEEK in my head!
Fitz: Someone out there wants me dead.
Mellie: You think it's just out there? MEOW!

Papa Pope (PP) tries to find infomration on Dominic the bomb maker dude, and we learn Dominic was Mama Pope's handler/lover back in the day. PP knows this and is ready to kill him.

Liv gets a call from Fitz who wants to get to the eulogy of his friend. He's worried that Sally is out stealing his votes and she has the NAACP. Olivia snorts: I'm telling you I'm black. Sally doesn't have the NAACP. Hilarity!

Hamilton: "Papa Pope. That's okay right, to call you papa pope?"
"No it isn't."  LOL Aww, come on. We all call him Papa Pope, why can't Hamilton? 

While Dominic is in the wind, Charlie and Quinn can't find him. Huck walks in dumping him on the floor. found him! Go HUCK. He is creepy but just Hucking awesome!

Where's the bomb? Dominic doesn't answer. Papa pope tells Huck Get us some answers and have fun while you're at it! We all know what kind of "fun" Huck can have.  Olivia stops him telling him no. No hurting. Hurting Bad. That's not who we are.

Mellie wants a paternity test to determine exactly which man is her baby-daddy: Her husband or his daddy. Leo Bergen makes a deal with some chickie dating the presidential son. Why? Um for some man chowder of course. Sorry, I laughed my ass off at this, but also threw up in my mouth just a bit. Man Chowder! Where do they come up with this shit?! Main point people: We are about to find out that the presidential son is really his brother! This is some Jerry Springer shit!  Bergin calls PP and feeds him the story, Liv runs to Mellie and grills her. Screaming match, but Olivia tells her she'd have to be an idiot to be this reckless, and she is not an idiot, and  is not reckless.

Mellie loses it: " I want to see him burn! I have kept this secret for 15 year. I have lost my life for 15 years. They're watching him walk away from me. I have been destroyed while I made him president. He suffers. He hurts. He burns." Yikes! Millie asks her to clean up the mess....again. Telling her "You owe me. You owe me everything". EEEK. Olivia asks her  "Which kid is Andrews? Future VP may be the father of one of your children", nope. Got it wrong Livey.
I almost feel bad for Mellie. Almost.

Quinn: You don't torture people. You just destroy them.
Jake is in David's office when he walks in. What did I say would happen? Are you going to list to me now? Forces David to use surveillance cameras to find the bomb and Mama Pope. 

Huck tells PP that Dominic isn't talking. PP grabs a gun and holds a gun on Dominic. PP tells Olivia "Dominic Bell is the only man MAMA pope ever loved." Papa pope gets all Russian Roulette on him and starts pulling the trigger. He calls MP and she is one cold hearted bitch. Tells PP to go ahead and call her bluff and kill Dominic. Click. Click. Click. Click. BANG. Brain stew.

Amy calls Papa Pope dispicable, because she has collected DNA and sends it to the lab.  DNA is not a match, but oh wait, lots of dollars in an envelope and YES. You are the father! Mellie see the test results and cries, but they're not real are they?

Quinn, Charlie, and Huck move the body. They start bickering and Quinn quips "You two go talk, or make out, whatever. I'll go dispose of the body by myself" and takes off. Huck waits until Quinn returns and he tells her going alone wasn't safe. She snaps "Safer than bringing along two bickering little bitches." Quinn is growing some cajones huh?

Quinn prowls and plays licky face with Huck again. Slaps him in to saying he wants her, then they get busy on the hood of a car. Ripped Panties, um, yup, Quinn got Hucked in the parking lot while who is that woman in the high heels walking by? MP! Right into Pope Headquarters.
Liv calls Jake who asks her "Why are you calling?". She's freaking out "I don't know. Um, last night."
Jake: "I was there. I was in that bed. Tell me you felt it, Tell me I'm not crazy. Tell me you felt it too."
Olivia: "My father killed my mother's lover tonight like it was nothing. Like it was Tuesday." Realizes that MP could have saved him, and she didn't. She remembers being at the playground while MP would sit on the bench and talk to the man -- laughing and holding hands, and that was Dominic.
Olivia tells Jake "Must be nice to feel nothing to care about no one. It must be easier. I love him. Fitz. And I felt something with you and that feels like betrayal."
He replies "It feels like a first step." She sadly wispers goodbye. *sigh* Oh Jakey. 

Fitz gets tired of staying in the White House and tells Cyrus to get ready, they are going to the Buckeye State. Cyrus talks to Liv as they're boarding the chopper. Liv freaks and tries to stop him. Papa pope thinks that if Olivia is with the President the bomb won't go off. He feels that MP won't kill Fitz if it means killing Olivia as well. PP is just using her as a pawn, isn't he?
at the school, Mellie, Cyrus and Fitz are on stage while Olivia is watching from Balcony. She then joins them on stage. Cyrus asks Mellie  if she is drunk. She's wobbly and when asked if she's ready, she replies "to get blown up?" The team finds out the bomb is at the school, and devise a plan to get everyone outside. 

Harrison is playing lookey-loo in a warehouse. Finds defiance documents - Adnan bitch pulls a gun on him. Tells him the bomb isn't at the school, but thanks for letting us know you were on to us so we can change the plans. The bomb was moved and MP is out on the town with her cellphone, ready to program it to go off.

So while Quinn and Huck are hucking in the garage, MP goes up and visits PP. Liv waks back into her offices calling for Huck and dad. Huck and Quinn walk back in to find Olivia holding a shot, and bleeding papa, convulsing on the floor. She's freaking out -- her dad has been shot and it seems like the trigger puller was MP!!

Jake finds out that MP killed the Senator Hightower to create a funeral. That's where the bomb is located. Cyrus being Cyrus, doesn't call and clear the church. Sally Langston is going to be there, confirms that she's already left, and puts the phone back down in the cradle. He then walks over to Fitz telling him there's a delay and asks him to read the eulogy. All cool and calm, he's just sitting there as if asking Fitz to tell him a bedside story. He's so deliciously evil. 

Sally walks into the church -- and burn baby burn! Sally, Andrew the VP Candidate, Leo, all are there, and.....there's your cliffhanger.

Previews for next week: BOMBtastic.
Papa rushed into the hospital
Mellie crying. 
GAH. I hate waiting another week for this!! 

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