Game of Thrones: Watchers on the Wall. aka "You know nothing Jon Snow".

Tonight was all about holding the wall. Reminds me of a Justin Timberlake song…

Sam talks about his last battle: “I didn’t know I was going to kill a White Walker!! I had to save Gilley and save the baby.” He goes on to say “I wasn’t Samuel anymore. I wasn’t a Steward in the Knights watch. I was nothing. When you’re nothing, there is no more reason to be afraid. I’m afraid now, because I’m not nothing anymore.” Wow. 

"I kissed a girl and I liked it" -- Sam

Then, Sam has sex on the brain. Asks Jon what it’s like. He’s thinking of the loophole in the Night’s Watch vows. Technically, it doesn’t say you can’t have sex…. After talking to Jon about it all, he goes down to storage room to find Gilley. She wants him to say with her, saying he’d be there with her. He tells her “I didn’t mean in the same room ya silly woman!” He has to fight and defend the wall, because that’s what men do – arh arh arh. 

He lays a big ole smooch on her… 

He promises not to die…um. Er. Well? Shit. 

Don’t listen to that crazy talk, sweetie as everyone is subject to die at any moment! Just ask my sweet prince Oberyn. Take a moment and reflect on the loss of Oberyn. Sigh. Goodnight again, sweet prince. 

Later, Janos Flynt runs from the wall to the same storage room and hides like quivering bitch with Gilley and the baby. 

Just as Jon warned, the giants are able to break the door of the tunnel that runs under The Wall. Alliser Thorne says “Ya know, you should have told me to close the tunnel.” Dumb shit. He did tell you to close it and you said no. Thankfully, Grenn held off the attack at the tunnel. 

The wildlings forge on…with a giant wooly mammoth and the Frost Giants at the reigns. Rawr!! 

Hey look down below – they’re coming! 

“I think we’re gonna die”

“Well if you keep missing we will!”

Fight Fight Fight. Arrows. More Arrows. Breakdance fighting with swords. Stabbing. Stabbing. Arrows. You get my drift, right? Big 40 minute fight scene. 

Men are climbing the ice wall, and the Watchmen start throwing oil barrels and arrows down at them. Explosions! Falling climbers! Then, an anchor goes out, spearing one of the ice climbers. Chunks of ice break loose from the wall and the anchor swoops back across the wall and clears the climbers – gone. Well, that was effective. 

Ygritte makes it clear that she doesn’t want anyone else killing her former lover: “Jon Snow is all mine.” Ygritte is charging the castle, and she’s picking up every arrow that is thrown her way and shooting it back up to the Night’s Watchmen. She’s picking men off like crazy. Then...Jon  Snow goes down to help with the fighting. He takes out Thenn and his freaky bald skull with a hammer to the noggin’! 

Ygritte sees Jon and takes aim…and she can’t do it. She can’t shoot him. Hesitating, he sees her, knows she’s pointing an arrow at him to finish him off this time, and he smirks at her as to say “Sorry love, go ahead.” Just when you wonder what she’ll do – she gets an arrow to the back and down she goes!  Jon goes to her side, “You remember the cave?” of course she does. “We should have stayed in the cave,” she tells Jon Snow, before repeating her lovers’ taunt: “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” This time, when she closed her eyes, it was for good. 

Okay, so she’s the dead one this week, and she kinda had it coming. Seriously. How can she be out in the wilderness, snow, fighting, and STILL have her hair look good? Bitch. 

The next morning, Jon Snow is in no cranky. He knows that he has to go out and face Rayder. While they held off the wildlings, it was only for the night. They’ll start again tomorrow.  He hands Sam his Valyrian steel sword “just in case I don’t come back”. 

Next week: Back to Tyrion, Dany, and the rest of the gang…